The on-the-go officer battles two issues: power and weight. Anyone who’s flitted between coffee shops hunting a spare socket knows the tyranny of both the red battery indicator and a computer that feels like it’s carved from obsidian.
The ASUS ZenBook outflanks both, somehow squeezing seven hours of on-time into an all-metal shell that weighs less than a MacBook Air. It also boasts an anti-glare screen, so you can finally fulfil that oft-refused request to take your work outside. Although your boss might be vindicated when you can’t find WiFi.
Even a working day’s worth of battery life isn’t enough when shifting deadlines suddenly mean you’re facing overtime (or, more likely, you’ve spent all day YouTubing kitten videos and drained your power prematurely).
As its name suggests, the Intocircuit Power Castle has enough supplies for an extended siege – its 26,000mAh capacity will refire your phone 12 times and a tablet twice. And unlike most portable power packs, with the right adaptor its DC outlet can even bring a laptop back from the dead. So now you’ll need a new excuse for not answering emails.
If you thought you’d never miss your cubicle, welcome to a world where your colleagues include parents who ignore their shrieking children to teach them independence, and people who use phones at volumes that render their long-distance communication technology moot.
Since Starbucks won’t let you erect walls, Sennheiser offers a subtler approach, with wireless headphones that turn outside discord into inner peace. And unlike other noise-cancelling cans, which can sacrifice sound quality for silence, Sennheiser’s Momentum technology offers crystal audio that makes the most of the solitude.
That relief you feel at never having to undergo another deskside briefing from the charisma vacuums in HR soon sours when hunching over a laptop all day leaves you with posture best suited to Parisian bell towers.
For better ergonomics your screen should sit at eye level. You could attempt to balance it on a coffee cup pyramid, but the Kickstarter-funded Roost Laptop Stand is a less precarious way to extinguish the fires of RSI.
The folding design means it’s properly portable – at just a few grams more than an iPhone, even the most screentime-ravaged backs won’t complain when you slot it in your bag – and can be adjusted to secure any laptop.
Colleagues ditched, you can indulge urges that would otherwise raise an eyebrow. No, not that – switching your parked position for something on a higher plane.
Though loathe to become the first guy to rock a standing desk in the office, at home you can enjoy the benefits – studies have linked less time sitting to a reduced risk of diabetes, obesity and cancer – away from judging eyes.
The StorkStand Desk attaches to your chair back, to simplify the transition into becoming an upstanding citizen, and even packs down into a carry bag should you fancy taking your new perspective on the road. The only thing you’ll miss is the smugness from evangelising about it to your colleagues.
Sure, you’re no longer part of a coffee round. But that also means you won’t have to choke down your colleagues’ napalm-hot Nescafé. Your tastes deserve something equally refined, like the Ratio Eight, which brews up in a ceramic, metal and hand-blown glass package that it’s almost a shame to relegate to the kitchen.
There’s brains as well as beauty, though; it heats water to the perfect brewing temperature (94.4C, for those wondering why their boiled kettle produces coffee that tastes like burnt soil) and features a ‘bloom’ mode – to remove flavour-harshing CO2 from your brew – along with a shower-style head that ensures every grain gets the right amount of water. So your cup of java is never bitter. It’s just a pity you won’t have anyone to share it with.